Why Nigerians will argue about the best rice

Every Nigerian party has two guaranteed events: somebody's uncle will dance like the floor owes him money, and somebody will argue about the rice.

Party jollof is not ordinary jollof. It is cooked in big pots over firewood, and the bottom of the pot — the part that almost burns — gives it that smoky taste nobody can copy at home. That smoke is the whole argument.

Then you have the native rice people. Palm oil, locust beans, dry fish, ponmo. They will tell you jollof is for people who are scared of flavour.

Fried rice fans sit quietly in the corner. They know they are the most balanced plate on the table: vegetables, liver, prawns if the celebrant has money. They don't need to shout.

At Òwàmbé we stopped picking sides. Every plate comes with the rice you want and a free protein, because the real enemy was never the other rice. It was the small portion.